Preparing for Per Se

So my leaves and seeds plan? Not working out so well. I had been trying to eat light with limited sauces – poached/grilled chicken, salads, no carbs, etc — and then my work had the audacity to send me home with a spiral ham the size of three heads. Having zero plans for dinner outside of squirrel/birdie food, the ham was beginning to sound like a good idea. As I tore off the black netting and peered at the oily, pink meat, all I could think about was the amount of salt and fat in the pig that would surely puff up my fingers and render my wedding rings and my slinky Per Se dress too tight. Do I really want to feel like a sausage on the drive to NYC? Not such a hot plan. And, my dear husband certainly doesn’t need a crabby, puffy wife complaining for three hours that she is too sausagey to ever eat again. Alas, the ham went to very grateful neighbors instead. And, rather than send piggie off with its accompanying packet of “glaze” with a scary listing of ingredients (one of which resembled the medical term for a toenail fungus I regularly treat at work), I whipped up a homemade glaze in a fury of Christmasy cheer. Especially since the forking over of the ham was not even remotely altruistic. So piggie went to a good home, my husband was spared an annoying wife and I now, not only do I NOT feel like a sausage, but I have a new recipe for ham glaze: fresh tarragon, strong Dijon mustard, maple syrup and, but of course, leftover champagne (I know, I know, should be an oxymoron in a DINK household). I promise to do better next time.


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